help, advice and peace of mind

ph: Toby Harvard

I am 18 years old. The first time I saw him was at my friend's dance practice and when she asked me which guy out of here I found the most attractive, without hesitation I pointed to him. Beautiful, bright, blue eyes, dark brown hair, smile of an angel. At that moment, I knew... that one day he would be mine. Sounds cliche, but it as true as it gets. That was about 3 years ago.

I forgot about him for a while, until when I saw him camping, in summer of 2008. We always go to the same camping place, so I was not surprised to see him there playing volleyball with his beautiful face and body. We began talking over Facebook. More and more. He was great, down to earth, funny, everything I wanted. On March 29th, 2009, we began dating. Best time in my life.

He was perfect. And I know that every girl says that about their boyfriend because we all think that our treasure is the best... but he reallly was perfect. He drew me pictures, kissed my forehead in public, called me beautiful, didn't force me to do anything, made a teddy bear, made me so happy, and I made him happy. We spent the most wonderful Christmas, New Year's, Valentines. Everything was perfect. We could lie in a bed and do nothing and it would be the best afternoon in my week.

Everyday, he would tell me how much he loves me, how I am exactly what he's looking for in a girl. We were an example to all the other relationships around me, and I really thought it would be forever.

Then something happened.

This past Tuesday, he told me that over the past week he's been thinking that we lost connection, lost the spark... and he doesn't feel it anymore. I was crushed but most importantly shocked. We never fought and I know there was no other girl he was after. When I asked him to fight and give it a chance... his response was simple and painful, "How can I fight for something I no longer feel".

My entire world collapsed. I am a mess. I cannot eat, sleep, function. I don't know what to think and don't know what to do. Feelings, as strong as he claimed to have for the past year, don't go away over night... or do they?

I need help, advice and peace of mind.

I love him so much, and cannot picture my life without him.